Random Ramblings

Procrastinating the Inevitable...

Let's Talk About What Really Matters In Life...

By thePatrick

One last story about visiting my folks and then, I promise I'll get back to the really important job of complaining/rambling incoherently about the general stupidity of humankind. Now, while I was down there, the night of our Birth-iversary party, my uncle got sent to the store, and he volunteered me to go with him. Not that I minded very much. After all, my uncle is only about a year and a half older than me. How is that possible?

Well, we are Mormon...

Anyway, our trip back from the grocery store took longer than people expected it to. They asked if I was going to blog about it. I told them sure. So here it goes: We went to the store. We went too far east while heading back from the store before we turned north. We got stuck at a light. Then we made it back.

Thrilling, huh.

But yesterday morning is when the really earth shattering discoveries were made. My aunt and uncle came over to my parents house for breakfast. My wife had made some pancakes. We ate them. Then, my aunt decided that she was going to make some more. I like food, so I was all for it. But then the unthinkable happened. She started pouring the batter onto the griddle, but there was hardly any coming out. These pancakes were entirely too small. Forget 'I Stayed At The Holiday Inn And Am Eating Their Complimentary Breakfast' pancakes, forget 'We Are Out Of Batter And This Is The Last Pancake' size pancakes, she was making 'I Recently Took Communion For The First Time And Am Comfortable With Food The Size Of Wafers' size pancakes.

Seriously, T. took one look at those pancake and scoffed.

But that's when inspiration struck. People do not want little pancakes. In a society where we get super duper Big Gulps and jumbo size our fries, we don't even want regular size pancakes. What we need now is Mancakes. Pancakes for the human garbage disposal in all of us. Pancakes that are so big that you can only cook one at a time on a camp griddle. And when you are at a restaurant, no more of those dainty cups full of a tablespoon of syrup. We need our own carafe just for the syrup. That'll give you a sugar high that will counteract the sleepy-time effects that a Mancake will give to the population at large.

Mancakes. You heard it here first.

1 Comment

Pff. Actually, I heard it at work first. But it was from you, so ok.


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