I'd Be Speechless If That Wasn't The Point Of A Blog...

By thePatrick

So, I know there's a lot (kind of) going on in the sports world. It's Wimbledon, the College World Series, both the NHL and NBA drafts are upon us, and baseball season is in full swing.

But sweet merciful soccer playing heaven, did you see/hear about/read about/pray for the U.S. Men's Soccer team yesterday?

Right now in soccer-world, it's the Confederation's Cup. The U.S made it to the semifinals. That should be a shock enough. But that's not all. They beat Spain. The U.S. is going to the finals.

Let me reiterate. The U.S. beat Spain. Spain is/was the worlds top ranked team. The U.S. beat them 2-0. This is the first FIFA final that the U.S. men have made it to since 1916. Spain hadn't lost since November 2006. Spain outshot the U.S. 29-9? Oh, and did I mention that the U.S. lost the first two games of the tournament? Or that they were ranked 14th going in? Or that they were 1-7-1 all time when going against the number one team?

This is David and Goliath stuff.

So, while I wish I could celebrate the soccer equivalent of the Clippers shutting out the Lakers, I have to be realistic. There has to be a reason that the U.S. won. That reason has to be robots.

I'm fairly convinced that a) the U.S. goal keeper is a robot and that is why he was able to stop 29 shots on goal, of b) the Spanish team is robots, and they all passed their warranty, and they malfunctioned during the game.

Robots, folks. You heard it here first.