Recently, I noticed something about who I am and how I relax. You see, I'm a guy, so naturally, I love video games. And, since I'm more manly than most, I don't really care for those fantasy adventure games. Nope, give me something with sports. But here's the secret to video games.

Don't play video games if it's something that you can do in real life.

What's that? You don't understand? Let me explain. I have a hockey game. Now, I played roller hockey for like 2 months in the street by my house when I was 10, and I would shoot a ball into a garbage can, but that's it. So, I have a hockey game that I play. Plus, you can fight.

When I was growing up I played one season of baseball. Yep, one. We won the championship. I played rover. For those of you who don't know, that means that I was the fourth outfielder. I sucked enough that I didn't even have a real position. But in my baseball video game, I friggin' rock. Take that, HGH.

Again, growing up I played one season of football. Naturally, I have to have a Madden game, but I have a college one, too. Because I'm American. And a guy. I have preposterous amounts of testosterone. Proposterone. I even win when I play with the Detroit Lions. 'Nuff said.

So what did I do growing up? I played basketball and more soccer than anyone outside of Latin America knew existed. So, naturally, I can't own those games. Because that's something I can do in real life.

At least I would if I could pry myself away from the Playstation.