Random Ramblings

Procrastinating the Inevitable...

Do You Believe In Gosh???

By thePatrick

So, because good things should never die, Mitch Hedberg released a CD this year. He's been dead since 2005. That doesn't matter. These are some of my favorite jokes from the CD.

  • Remember that show "My Three Sons?" That'd be funny if it was called "My One Dad."
  • I'm sick of Soup of the Day. It's time we make a decision!
  • I got a vest. If I had my arms cut off, it would be a jacket.
  • I got an idea for sweatshops...Air conditioning!
  • NyQuil on the rocks...for when you're feeling sick but sociable.
  • Is a hippopotamus a hippopotamus, or just a really cool opotamus?
  • If I was the headless horseman's horse, I would mess with that dude. "Yeah, we're going that way. We're not headed towards the hay."
  • When I'm on my hotel elevator, I like to pretend like someone else's floor is wrong. Like, if someone gets on and presses 3 I'm like "You're on 3? Hahahaha! Dude, I don't think I can ride with you"
  • I wish all my clothes were made out of blankets. That way, if I fall asleep with my clothes on , well, I'm tucked in!
  • A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.
  • I got New Balance shoes on, but they're old, so I might start falling.
There are more, but I think that will suffice. Trust me, it's funny.


That made the corners of my mouth turn up. Thanks!!

This blog brings warm feelings to my heart!

My favorite is still the magic drummer!

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