Random Ramblings

Procrastinating the Inevitable...

How to Make a Unicorn Shower...

By thePatrick

Step by step instructions so you can follow along at home!

1. Find a Unicorn - preferably a very happy one. Happy unicorns have bigger tear ducts and probably less swelling around the eyes. Makes hooking up the shower a lot easier.

2. Get yourself a lot of markers - preferably in beautiful shades of colors.

3. Here's the tricky part - Unicorns cry when they see beautiful things. Through a series of color tests with the markers, figure out what your unicorn responds to. Once you've identified what your unicorn thinks is beautiful (you can tell because it will immediately start crying and making a low whinnying sound), then just start drawing that all over the place.

4. If you don't have enough markers to literally draw all over the "place" so that everywhere your unicorn looks he/she will be confronted by beautiful things, you mingh want to strap your unicorn down into a stall and lock it's head into a forward looking position. Then, place a beautiful drawing in front of each of his/her eyes. Locking the head into position using multiple harnesses will also make affixing the faucet much easier.

5. Using standard plumbing pipes, attach a pipe to each tear duct - located just under the eye. But, make sure not to obscure the unicorn's view of the beautiful pictures with the pipes! That will stop the tears from flowing. Unless somehow you've managed to put tiny beautiful drawings of beautiful things inside each pipe. But then you'd also need a light source in there and rigging that up without electrocuting the unicorn is tough.

6. Run the two pipes from each tear duct to a single shower faucet.

7. Make a nice shower room under the unicorn and get ready to have the best shower of your life!


That's much better than "If you give a mouse a pancake."

I was actually just thinking about this...good call.

Unicorns and showers! My two favorite things together at last!

I beta unicorn shower would do wonders to my hair

what are you on? Or is it just baby sleep deprivation? Besides, salt water makes your skin yucky so I don't think you'd really like to shower in unicorn tears.

This is very mean! I love unicorns and here you all are saying "lets take a shower from a unicorn!" No! There is only one unicorn at a time on earth and i have him! I will prove it he is named Twighlight and when i say the words his horn comes out in a pink flash!

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