Random Ramblings

Procrastinating the Inevitable...

A brief explination of different Philosophies...

By thePatrick

As some of you know, I am a Philosophy minor. I think that I would be a Philosophy major, but I didn't realize that until I had 3 semesters left to graduate in History. Either way, I'm a big nerd. A lot of people don't really get philosophy, or what the differences are that philosophers think up. This post on the USU Philosophy page helps clarify major beliefs.

Here is the situation. You are in a crowded room, and you want to cross the room to get to the bar (for a ginger ale, of course). A philosopher is next to you. What advice does he give?

Socrates: “Obviously, nothing is more important than getting to the bar. Why do all these people seem to ignore what is most important? Let us berate them for their foolishness, and convince them that they should be moving toward the bar.”

Hegel: “The crowd is actually a line for the bar. Just be patient and stay in your place.”

Nietzsche: “Let’s creep along the wall, and fantasize about the one who will be able to leap over the crowd.”

Epictetus (the Stoic): “Don’t want to go to the bar. Want to stay where you are.”

Thoreau: “Let’s go out the window and go around.”

Christianity (according to Nietzsche): “Convince everyone that the bar is evil; that should clear the way for us!”

Buddha: “The bar is within you.”

I liked this. Maybe this still makes no sense, but either way, it's a good time. Now, we all can have deep philosophical discussions about the best way to get to the bar for that ginger ale.


You forgot the French philosophy: It's too hard to reach the bar, make America do it for you and then belittle and mock them for doing so.

Or there's this French philosophy...Descartes would be unsure that the bar and crowd even exist, and spend time trying to prove his own existence until last call and the bar is closed.

OK. I'm lost. First of all, I thought you were going to be a lawyer, not a shrink. Secondly, I'm lost. Use philosophy to fix that one, huh? ;)

Does strait crapping yourself, to clear the crowd, fit into philosophy?

I could be wrong but I think it's call the Client Philosophy?

Also, based on what I've read elsewhere, Co-G philosophy has something to do with the ability to make other people crap their pants.

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