A Message About Tonight...

By thePatrick

Ladies and Gentlemen...
I was born in Utah. I was raised in Utah. I moved out of Utah, but only by 7 miles. Really, it was the Utah part of Idaho. I graduated from Utah State University. Pretty much, all this Utah influence means that, yes, I am a Jazz fan.

I'll wait for you to finish laughing.

Anyway. The after beating the Clippers last night, the Jazz are riding a 9 game winning streak. Tonight, the Lakers come to Utah.

I hate the Lakers.

Not so much them personally, I just think that I hate the media love affair with the Lakers. Also, I hate people who cheer for them even though they have absolutely no ties to Los Angeles. I hate the fact that Kobe Bryant plays injured and everyone talks about how tough he is.

Which brings me to the point of this post.

The Lakers last game was in L.A. against the Spurs. Kobe didn't play. Tonight will be their last game before the All-Star break. And there are rumblings about Kobe coming out tonight to play against the Jazz.

Why is this news?

Now, a personal message directed to Kobe Bryant:
Dear Kobe,
Don't do it. What do you need to prove? You're team is in first place in the West. There will not be anyone who catches up to you. It's just not going to happen. So you don't need to step onto the floor tonight. Rest your weary body.
-BUT-
If you do decide to step on the floor tonight, be warned. I will hunt you down. I will be like a ghost. You will not see me coming. Because everyone knows that the scariest thing that a professional athlete has to deal with is a 5'10" History B.A. who doesn't own a firearm, or have any large friends who are willing to go to jail, or any money to buy a hit-man.

Long story short, I hate the Lakers. I hate Kobe Bryant.

Go Jazz!