Random Ramblings

Procrastinating the Inevitable...

Wierdest. Walmart. Experience. Ever.

By thePatrick

So, you know how I love a good Wal-mart post. This actually happened just over a week ago, but with finals week in full swing, I've kind of been neglecting the blog. I promise I love you all. And to prove it, I give you this story. It's long, but if the laughter of my coworkers and family is any indication, it's well worth the read.
I have to start out by telling you that Christy had sent some pictures online to Wal-mart to get developed. They should have been done (we gave them 3 days for a 1 day development) but when we went earlier, they weren't there. So the lady told us that if we gave them an hour or so, they would get them done for us. I had to run to work, but Christy was able to go back. When she got there, the lady told us that there were not any pictures for us. We never ordered them, even though she told us she found the order. Reason was, she thought we were someone else. So, I took off from work while the kids were in a family group session to talk with the "special" people who work at the Wal-Mart photo lab. Long story short, they asked us to give them until the end of the week, and they would call us when the pictures were done. So, I figured that Wal-mart owed me something, so I went to use their facilities, if you catch my drift.
This is where things started to get weird.
I entered an empty restroom, which was new for a Wal-mart. However, within a couple of minutes I heard a young kid come in and use the urinal. When he backed away, the automatic flushing toilet scared him, and he started screaming. I chuckled to myself. Then I looked up at the gap between the door and the stall wall, and staring at me like Jack Nicholson in The Shining was this kid. Well, technically, it was only his eye, but that's creepy enough for me. So he asked me what I was doing. Having the tact that I do, I told him I was pooping. I figured that since everybody poops, he should know that I was fairly normal, too. Then he crouched down on the floor and reached his hand inside the stall, trying to grab at my shoes. Double creepy. Remembering that I work where I work, and knowing that I, a 26 year old man, was alone in the bathroom with a little kid who was lying on the floor and giggling, I asked him to leave me alone. I suggested that he go over to the next stall and use it. He told me he had already gone, but he would go over anyway. At this point, I'm done, but am afraid to finish my business. Who knows when the kid will stick his head back through the door? The next thing I knew, he was lying down on his stomach with his head starting to peek under the door, looking up at me like some psychotic precious moments doll. At this point, I told him that he really needed to go somewhere else. Also, I'm wondering where in the world his parents are. I don't want my little girl to be alone ever; and definitely not alone in a Wal-mart bathroom.
Anyway, the next thing I know, he goes over to the next stall, lifts up the lid, then slams it shut. Again, the sound of the flush scares him. I hear him scream, leave the stall, and he runs out of the bathroom. Or at least I thought so. I heard a big thud, which I only assume was him hitting the wall. But was he done? Of course not. Trapped inside my prison of a stall, I heard him wander back into the other stall and lift the lid up again, only to slam it down once more. Of course the flush makes him scream, and he runs out of the stall. However, this time, instead of making it all the way to a wall, he slips. Falls. Screams. Cries.
So now, let us reassess the situation. I am trapped in a bathroom stall with my pants around my ankles. There is a screaming child on the floor. I do not like this situation. Luckily, his dad comes in. Finally. And makes fun of his child for slipping on the bathroom floor. But, he escorts him from the bathroom, for which I am eternally grateful.
Wal-mart. Always low class. Always.


You don't know me, I'm one of Christy's friends. I read your blog from time to time but never leave a comment. However, this story warrants a comment. Hilarious. Thanks for the laughs. And yes, Wal-Mart is always low class. Always. I loved the Wal-Mart bingo card, too. Anyway, thanks for the laughs.

I laughed so hard I cried... then I made Josh read it... he didn't laugh, he got really pissed off for you. It's a good thing it wasn't Josh in that stall because the first thing he would have done when the kid layed down and looked under the stall is smash is head in with his foot. That was a lucky kid! :) p.s. You poop??? That's just gross Patrick... ;)

I want to marry a man who is so comfortable with himself that he is able to blog about bathroom stories!

That was easily the story of the month and maybe story of the year! If you keep working at YT you'll probably see that kid again and then you can get your revenge or at least make fun of him... Scared of a flushing toilet, man you can't make that stuff up!

Is it weird that we both posted about pooing in a public place on the same day?

That is a super creepy, hilarious story. I would probably have public-poo-a-phobia after an experience like this.

Ow. My sides hurt. Patrick this is the BEST story ever. Keep shoppin at wal-mart so we keep getting entertainment. (Please and Thankyou)

Shudder...creepy...that is all I have to say.
Norte's friend, Rachel.

Almost as funny reading about it as listening to you tell the story in person!

I read this and was laughing... SO... I shared this story through cutting and pasting it in an email to David... well he said that he was laughing really hard. I think that it was a really good funny pick me up story! In a sick and creepy way!

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