"This" *wink* "Merry Christmas."

So, you know how I love a good Wal-mart post. This actually happened just over a week ago, but with finals week in full swing, I've kind of been neglecting the blog. I promise I love you all. And to prove it, I give you this story. It's long, but if the laughter of my coworkers and family is any indication, it's well worth the read.

I have to start out by telling you that Christy had sent some pictures online to Wal-mart to get developed. They should have been done (we gave them 3 days for a 1 day development) but when we went earlier, they weren't there. So the lady told us that if we gave them an hour or so, they would get them done for us. I had to run to work, but Christy was able to go back. When she got there, the lady told us that there were not any pictures for us. We never ordered them, even though she told us she found the order. Reason was, she thought we were someone else. So, I took off from work while the kids were in a family group session to talk with the "special" people who work at the Wal-Mart photo lab. Long story short, they asked us to give them until the end of the week, and they would call us when the pictures were done. So, I figured that Wal-mart owed me something, so I went to use their facilities, if you catch my drift.
This is where things started to get weird.
I entered an empty restroom, which was new for a Wal-mart. However, within a couple of minutes I heard a young kid come in and use the urinal. When he backed away, the automatic flushing toilet scared him, and he started screaming. I chuckled to myself. Then I looked up at the gap between the door and the stall wall, and staring at me like Jack Nicholson in The Shining was this kid. Well, technically, it was only his eye, but that's creepy enough for me. So he asked me what I was doing. Having the tact that I do, I told him I was pooping. I figured that since everybody poops, he should know that I was fairly normal, too. Then he crouched down on the floor and reached his hand inside the stall, trying to grab at my shoes. Double creepy. Remembering that I work where I work, and knowing that I, a 26 year old man, was alone in the bathroom with a little kid who was lying on the floor and giggling, I asked him to leave me alone. I suggested that he go over to the next stall and use it. He told me he had already gone, but he would go over anyway. At this point, I'm done, but am afraid to finish my business. Who knows when the kid will stick his head back through the door? The next thing I knew, he was lying down on his stomach with his head starting to peek under the door, looking up at me like some psychotic precious moments doll. At this point, I told him that he really needed to go somewhere else. Also, I'm wondering where in the world his parents are. I don't want my little girl to be alone ever; and definitely not alone in a Wal-mart bathroom.
Anyway, the next thing I know, he goes over to the next stall, lifts up the lid, then slams it shut. Again, the sound of the flush scares him. I hear him scream, leave the stall, and he runs out of the bathroom. Or at least I thought so. I heard a big thud, which I only assume was him hitting the wall. But was he done? Of course not. Trapped inside my prison of a stall, I heard him wander back into the other stall and lift the lid up again, only to slam it down once more. Of course the flush makes him scream, and he runs out of the stall. However, this time, instead of making it all the way to a wall, he slips. Falls. Screams. Cries.
So now, let us reassess the situation. I am trapped in a bathroom stall with my pants around my ankles. There is a screaming child on the floor. I do not like this situation. Luckily, his dad comes in. Finally. And makes fun of his child for slipping on the bathroom floor. But, he escorts him from the bathroom, for which I am eternally grateful.
Wal-mart. Always low class. Always.

So, earlier today, Tegan and I were doing some Festivus shopping, and she decided that she was uber-hungry. Being the ever prepared dad that I am, I prepared a bottle full of delicious formula for her to much on right there. Yes, I fed her in the store. Luckily for me, we were in the middle of Borders. Also luckily for me, there are oodles of chairs by the DVD section, so while she went to town on some Similac, I perused the TV series that are for sale and reminiced about those series from long (and not so long) past.

You see, we don't get television. We live in a black hole of television reception, and we're too cheap to shell out for dish or cable service, so we live on movies and TV series that we own. We own the basics (The Office, Spongebob Squarepants, some King of the Hill) but as I was sitting there, I quickly formulated my list of 4 shows that I one day will own on DVD. And since only two of the shows are available right now, it should be fairly easy. If anyone out there is willing to help a brother out (I'm someone's brother), feel free to donate.

Flight of the Conchords - Quick summary: Radtastic band who bill themselves as "Formerly New Zealand's fourth most popular guitar-based digi-bongo acapella-rap-funk-comedy folk duo", come to New York and try to make it big. Complete with musical numbers.

The Venture Bros. - Quick summary: Son of famous super-scientist tries to follow in his father's footsteps but sucks hardcore. Has a rad bodyguard. Clones his two sons who are prone to death. Has a nemisis who dresses up like a monarch butterfly.

Parker Lewis Can't Lose - Quick summary: I like Ferris Buehler's Day Off, and if they were to make a TV show out of it, this is what it would be like. 'Nuff Said. Oh, and it's not out on DVD, so I will probably just have to dream about it.

Duckman - Quick summary: When my family first moved to Preston, for some unexplicable reason we had cable (I honestly think the previous owners pirated it, and we were "slow" in taking care of the problem). Private detective/duck voiced by Jason Alexander (i.e. George Costanza) runs around with his wife, farting grandma-ma, stupid jock son, two headed son(s) and pig partner. Also not out on DVD.

So am I the only person who remembers the last two?

So, a friend of mine from Calgary put this up on their Facebook, and I thought it was worth a try. Here's the deal. I have put my itunes on shuffle. I will write the first two lines of each of the first 25 songs, regardless of embarrassment level. I will check off each song as someone guesses correctly. Yes, it is considered cheating if you use a search engine. I may not know, but someone, somewhere will. Ready? GO!