Ladies and Gentlemen, today I would like to take the time to talk with you about an epidemic that is sweeping the world. This is more serious that Swine Flu (but then again, so is the climbing number of attacks from laser sharks), more deadly than Monkey Pox, more realistic than Swine Pox, less made up on the spot than Monkey Flu, and more annoying than people who can't tell the difference between 'your' and 'you're.'

Seriously, if you can't tell the difference and are older than 12, kill yourself.

I'm talking about the rampant spreading, much like a virus, of Facebook quizzes. Facebook was created for four reasons: to reconnect with old friends, to make friends with people you never liked in high school as a way to try and be less of a douche, to stalk that cute girl via her pictures, and to create awkward situations when you don't accept your bosses' friend request.

Is there anything more strange than seeing a request from your boss?

But quizzes bring Facebook to an all time low. 'What College Do You Belong To?' 'What Would You Be In The Star Wars Universe?' 'What Decade Fits Your Personality Best?' 'How Many Kids Will You Have?' 'Which Disney Girl Are You?' 'What Stereotype Do You Fit?' As I type this post, my friends have decided to let me know via my news post the answer to those serious questions.

And that's just in the last 6 hours. When a majority of people are sleeping. That sucks when you can be infected in your sleep.

Now, I'm not saying that you can't take quizzes. I'm sure it's important to see what your 'True Theater Calling' is. Just don't post them to my news feed. Please. For the good of humanity. But I've got to run. I need to go and take a quiz to find out 'Are You A Potato?'

Wish me luck.