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Procrastinating the Inevitable...

What I'm Sure the Army Meant to Write to Me...

By thePatrick

For those of you that don't know, my contract with the Army was up last fall. They still pay me the G.I. Bill (although decreased significantly) to go to school. They decreased it as soon as I left, but kept paying me the higher rate. So, this semester (and however long they want to keep it up for) they are going to just not pay me to make up for their mistake until they get their money back. They sent an official letter, but it was really wordy, so I'm going to type up what they meant to say for you to read.

Dear beloved Army Veteran,
Thanks ever so much for going to Iraq for us. I know that it really sucks that we promise to send you to school, but you can't argue that winning the Heisman in NCAA Football 06 and beating Grand Theft Auto wasn't educational. Naturally, we appreciate the fact that you got blown up multiple times, and were shot at, too. But hey, we gave you a nifty piece of paper and a couple of badges, so we feel that we're square.
Now, we know that you've been going to school, trying to put your Army past behind you. Good for you, but we still want to mess up your life. Even more than making you scared of fireworks and flashes of light. We love you enough to give you the benefits that Truman set up for WWII vets, but here's the deal. You got out a month and a half after your original contract expired. In all your talk with us, we failed to mention that if you do that the amount of your G.I. Bill will be cut by about 37%. We know, you were planning on using that money to help pay off your wife's anesthesia bills or your mortgage, and it's not like the U.S. economy is at it's strongest. But still, we're going to do it. Just another way for the Army to screw with you after you're done with us.
Two To Ya,
Uncle Sam

That's about it. I found out about this a week ago, but had to wait this long to be able to post something that I could read to my little girl and not feel bad for using foul language. I'm better. Still mildly pissed, but better. Also, my parents rock. Mom and dad, thanks for understanding.

4 Comments

There are no happy thoughts in my heart right now. I have nothing nice to say...

This is me...frowning :( I don't know what to say other than, DAMN THEM! I'm sad now.

That sure sounds pretty stupid to me!

Yup, pretty much that is what it said.

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